I know there'll be a couple more years
of Ford vs Holden yet, but now both have announced the end of
manufacturing, I don't think it's too soon to declare a winner. It's
Holden. By a landslide.
I don't just mean in statistical terms,
although those do overwhelmingly favour the General. Ford drivers
might have taken more Australian Touring Car/V8 Supercar crowns (23
to 18), but over a third of those came from imported cars – Mustangs and
Sierras, plus a lonely Pommy Cortina. Boil it down to the all-Aussie Falcons and it's a
much less friendly 15 to 18. In the only race that actually matters,
it's even more lopsided: Holden have earned 29 Great Race laurels to
Ford's 19.
But it's more subtle than that. How
many famous names pop into your head when you hear the phrase “Holden
driver”? I bet with most of them I don't even need to give their
first name: Brocky, Skaifey, Lowndsey, Gricey, maybe Tander and even Ingall
(even the Enforcer, who won his only title in a Falcon, is still mostly
considered a Holden driver). Against that, how many genuine Ford
drivers are there? Allan Moffat, Dick Johnson, Marcos Ambrose... and
that's about it. Whincup won his first title in a Falcon, but he's
not so much a Ford or a Holden man as a freak of nature. Today only Frosty stands defiant as a Ford driver as opposed to professional V8 driver,
and he, like his team, is a frustrating underperformer.
This points to something I have to give
Holden credit for: they've done a much better job of creating a
culture of loyalty to their products. Part of this is taking a
long-term view of racing and ensuring your fans (read: customers)
have a Holden team to cheer for year in, year out, regardless of
whether they're winning. There's been a Holden factory team out on
track, without fail, since 1969 (indeed, thanks to a semi-independent
Holden Special Vehicles, for a few years we had two
factory Holden teams – HRT and the HSV Dealer Team). And
remarkably, despite effectively being the Establishment, they managed
to create an image of being the underdog, battling valiantly against
the might of the Ford factory teams.
That's
quite a con. Other manufacturers should take notes on Holden's
handling of the old Dealer Team. Officially it wasn't Holden's own
team, entered by a group of dealership owners in Sydney and
Melbourne, so it bypassed General Motors' pesky “no racing”
directive. For a team with no official backing, HDT got an impressive
amount of official backing, but here's the thing – so did all the
independent Holden drivers. Although running their own team, Holden
weren't especially fussed who did the winning, as long as they were
driving a Holden. How brilliant is that? Supply two-thirds of the
grid, make it look like your cars are better than your team, and
still claim underdog status when Ford come back with another
monolithic overfunded factory team.
But
it's more than that (and this is where it starts to make us look bad)
– it's also because Holden has always been distinctively true-blue
Aussie, where Ford takes a slightly more international approach. It's
a fault line that divides Australia to this day: Blue-collar vs
white-collar. Beer or latte. Labor or Liberals. Yob or wanker.
Of the
two, Ford's been the more wankerish, the company more likely to rely
on foreign talent like a Canadian star driver or a eurotrash hatchback
(while we're on the subject, how much of the Sierra's success here
was down to the hard work guts and slog of DJR? Let's not imagine what
Ford's final score would look like if not for Dick Johnson). Holden,
by contrast, has always taken the yob option, and although it did
give them a reputation as the brand of choice for knuckle-draggers,
it also made them look patriotic. A Holden owner is a living
racial stereotype - a white, blond, rough, six-foot, unsophisticated
wildlife expert and obsessive beer drinker. He wears a khaki shirt and
shorts and his most priceless possession is a large knife. If not
cheering for Skaifey or trying to catch crocodiles he will be
surfing or barbecuing snags. Only Holden is Australia's Own ®.
All of
which is just a long-winded way of saying, it's very hard to give
Holden the credit they're due, because it amounts to giving a big
thumbs-up to the ugly side of Australian nationalism – Bondi riots,
flags across everything, and bumper stickers reading “Fuck Off, We're Full”. Holden represents the
Australia Johnny Howard believed in, an Australia that's dying a day
at a time. Ford leans slightly
more toward the multicultural, latte art-snob country we want to
be... which makes it painful that the final performance Falcon, the
GT R-spec, is as limp as boiled asparagus next to the red-hot
Commodore GTS 430 it's up against.
And
that's the irony of the final round of the Long War: Ford is the
international brand, but it was HSV who finally delivered a vehicle
capable of taking on ze Germans. But that's something we'll be
looking into next week.
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